One Night in Paradise

Once upon a time there were two close friends who, out of affection for each other, made this pledge: the first to get married would call on the other to be his best man, even if he should be at the ends of the earth. Shortly thereafter one of the friends died. The survivor, who was planning to get married, had no idea what he should now do, so he sought the advice of his confessor. "This is a ticklish situation," said the priest, "but you must keep your promise. Call on him even if he is dead. Go to his grave and say what you're supposed to say. It will then be up to him whether to come to your wedding or not." The youth went to the grave and said, "Friend, the time has come for you to be my best man! " The earth yawned, and out jumped the friend. "By all means. I have to keep my word, or else I'd end up in Purgatory for no telling how long." They went home, and from there to church for the wedding. Then came the wedding banquet, where the dead youth told all kinds of stories, but not a word did he say about what he'd witnessed in the next world. The bridegroom longed to ask him some questions, but he didn't have the nerve. At the end of the banquet the dead man rose and said, "Friend, since I've done you this favor, would you walk me back a part of the way?" "Why, certainly! But I can't go far, naturally, since this is my wedding night." "I understand. You can turn back any time you like." The bridegroom kissed his bride. "I'm going to step outside for a moment, and I'll be right back." He walked out with the dead man. They chatted about first one thing and then another, and before you knew it, they were at the grave. There they embraced, and the living man thought, If I don't ask him now, I'll never ask him. He therefore took heart and said, "Let me ask you something, since you are dead. What's it like in the hereafter?" "I really can't say," answered the dead man. "If you want to find out, come along with me to Paradise." The grave opened, and the living man followed the dead one inside. Thus they found themselves in Paradise. The dead man took his friend to a handsome crystal palace with gold doors, where angels played their harps for blessed souls to dance, with St. Peter strumming the double bass. The living man gaped at all the splendor, and goodness knows how long he would have remained in the palace if there hadn't been all the rest of Paradise to see. "Come on to another spot now," said the dead man, who led him into a garden whose trees, instead of foliage, displayed song birds of every color. "Wake up, let's move on!" said the dead man, guiding his visitor onto a lawn where angels danced as joyously and gracefully as lovers. "Next we'll go to see a star! " He could have gazed at the stars forever. Instead of water, their rivers ran with wine, and their land was of cheese. All of a sudden, he started. "Oh, my goodness, friend, it's later than I thought. I have to get back to my bride, who's surely worried about me." "Have you had enough of Paradise so soon?" "Enough? If I had my choice ..." "And there's still so much to see! " "I believe you, but I'd better be getting back." "Very well, suit yourself." The dead man walked him back to the grave and vanished. The living man stepped from the grave, but no longer recognized the cemetery. It was packed with monuments, statues, and tall trees. He left the cemetery and saw huge buildings in place of the simple stone cottages that used to line the streets. The streets were full of automobiles and streetcars, while airplanes flew through the skies. "Where on earth am I? Did I take the wrong street? And look how these people are dressed!" He stopped a little old man on the street. "Sir, what is this town?" "This city, you mean." "All right, this city. But I don't recognize it, for the life of me. Can you please direct me to the house of the man who got married yesterday?" "Yesterday? I happen to be the sacristan, and I can assure you no one got married yesterday! " "What do you mean? I got married myself!" Then he gave an account of accompanying his dead friend to Paradise. "You're dreaming," said the old man. "That's an old story people tell about the bridegroom who followed his friend into the grave and never came back, while his bride died of sorrow." "That's not so, I'm the bridegroom myself! " "Listen, the only thing for you to do is to go and speak with our bishop." "Bishop? But here in town there's only the parish priest." "What parish priest? For years and years we've had a bishop." And the sacristan took him to the bishop. The youth told his story to the bishop, who recalled an event he'd heard about as a boy. He took down the parish books and began flipping back the pages. Thirty years ago, no. Fifty years ago, no. One hundred, no. Two hundred, no. He went on thumbing the pages. Finally on a yellowed, crumbling page he put his finger on those very names. "It was three hundred years ago. The young man disappeared from the cemetery, and the bride died of a broken heart. Read right here if you don't believe it!" "But I'm the bridegroom myself! " "And you went to the next world? Tell me about it! " But the young man turned deathly pale, sank to the ground, and died before he could tell one single thing he had seen.